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No Longer Obese

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I was reading the paper today and came across a photo of a ‘big unit’ that I later discovered to be a human girl, which terrified me into reading the article. It turns out that British doctors are no longer allowed, by law, to call fat children ‘obese’. Instead, they must use ‘very overweight’ so that they don’t offend the child’s parents.

However it has been said that dropping the word ‘obese’ could remove the sence of urgency that comes with using it. The sence of urgency that if that person doesn’t stop eating cakes they will flatten their own legs and die a slow and painful death. But I think this is a great idea, because it means that the parents of the children won’t realise quite how bad a situation their child is in, and more often than not these parents are massive cunts themselves who drive round in minivans because their mass cannot fit into anything else. This means that the child will slowly die. Once their child dies the parents will be so distraught they will binge eat and kill themselves.

This is survival of the fittest at work! In light of the news I’ve decided to drop the word ‘obese’ from my brain dictionary (it was crap without the word ‘morbid’ infront of it anyway) and I’ve instead replaced it with ‘fat hideous fucking mess of a human’. If any fatties are offended by this, please feel free to approach me with threats.

But you’ll have to catch me first you flabby cunts!

 

A Rainy Day

It was the first of May. Nobody had expected it to be a wet day. When I woke, it was so dark that I thought the night had not yet passed. In the meanwhile, I heard the clock strike seven . I soon got up. No sooner did I come out than it began to rain hard. The rain poured continously for four hours, and the streets were flooded. For the past fortnight it had been intolerably hot, so the rain was a blessing to us. Who would not welcome a rainy day in the midst of scorching summer?

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